On My 1st Turning 1

Brighton Rose. 6.14.16

Her name is so perfectly suited for her. It means "beloved" and she is that and more. Not only beloved, but she is also so bright. Everywhere she goes she brings joy. Being her mom has been the greatest joy I have ever known. All the cliches, all the cheesy sayings are all true. 

1 year ago, after 36 hours of labor, (and feeling like a total bad ass for pushing a human out of my body) she came into this world and we instantly forgot what life was like without her. "What did we do with all our time?!" We still can't stop staring at her. It's the strangest feeling how you can see a face for the first time but think, "Yes. It's you at last. I've known you forever."

Like a rose, this year has been beautiful, fragrant, but with a few thorns sprinkled through. We learned how to be patient and how to operate on little sleep. I learned more about myself than ever before. I learned I had the ability to be courageous and calm. I learned that trying to "do it all" is exhausting and that I don't have to get it all perfect. We have laughed so many laughs. We have cried. We have watched our baby girl smile, we have gotten excited over poop, we spent a few nights in Rady's after a fall from her stroller fractured her skull. She has spit up on every piece of clothing we own for 12 months straight. We learned that she is resilient and strong. I learned how to slow down and be present. We continue to learn about joy in all the little things of life as we watch her discover new things and as her eyes fill with wonder everywhere we go. She loves Frozen and when her dad comes home from work. She talks all day long and started walking a week ago. She gets overwhelmed with excitement when she sees a dog and claps her hands when her Nonno comes into the room. 

 

We went to Disneyland and Denver. We went camping and hiking, and out to Palm Springs. We celebrated my brother's marriage and rejoiced with friends as they welcomed their own babies into their families.

Last night, on the eve of her birthday, I was preparing her bedtime bottle and there were just enough scoops of formula to empty the box. It felt weirdly symbolic. The end of the box is the end of her infant year. Yes, I got emotional over formula. I'm only a little ashamed to admit it. #momlife  

When I think about the fact that my little girl is ONE I am at a lost for words. I was made for motherhood. It is the single most incredible, refining, challenging, frustrating, and glorious thing I have ever been a part of. Happy birthday my little bright one. You are my joy. You are my love. And I thank God every day for the gift of being your mother.